• Melissa


Trumplandia! Oh how I luv ya! The drama continues....alt-reality at its best!

It was as dramatic as Game of Thrones in the senate committee chamber yesterday - just without all the blood - tho there was talk of boofing and Devils Triangle. I dunno ‘bout u but I’m thinkin’ some folk are gonna be mad when they learn the truth of meaning of those terms! Well, except for the ones who knew the truth and altered Wikipedia from the Senate Chamber as the discussion was happening (don’t lewk shocked, lewk it up, v hav vays of twaking dees tings) ....but I digress...

Senator Andrew ‘I’m totally flaking on Trumplandia today’ Flake, like flaked and bent the senate to his will. Bent It! All the while Senator Lindsay ‘How the hell am I elected every time’ Graham rolled his eyes and Senator Chuck ‘This was so much easier in 1991’ Grassley watched helplessly. In fact Grandpa Chuck actually blankly stared into space for so long, a mirror was put under his nose to see if he was still breathing. He was! Whew! Crisis averted.

Let’s get back on track...

Flake continued to flake until finally he reentered the Senate chamber and gave his statement. A vote of yes on the condition of an FBI investigation! And our Commander in Tweets agreed to the terms.....

Whoa Nelly! WTF Trumplandia! You’ve been told up to now that the FBI doesn’t do investigations of this kind. Stink eye to you Fox News! And NOW in the 11th hour of a contentious SCOTUS appointment you’re finding out - OMG - they do!! They Do! It was lies!! The gaslight really is always on. I need to sit down.

I would completely understand if you need to lay down and have a cup of camomile tea. This is Devastating news. But it gets worse! Worse!!!

November is coming.

Stay strong Trumplandia! Don’t pull a Chuck G and stare blankly into space in this time of need! Throw some shade, troll the opposition, create memes and conspiracy theories! You’re awesome at those things! AWESOME!! Keep. It. Up. You are needed now more than ever.

Blow-by-blow here. Complete with with gifs and memes. Thank you Buzzfeed!

You’re welcome.


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